I have been a single parent for many years now and I often wonder if Single Parent'sSyndrome really exists? Personally I think it does. I have many friends and have spoken with far too many single parents to believe otherwise.
This week I swear I have Single Parent’s Syndrome. I’ve been too tired to sleep, too full of thoughts to focus, at times too hungry to eat and partly too worried to think. In all honesty, I have found myself in the place where you wonder when it will ever get easier and what is the purpose behind all of this? Being a long time single parent every year doesn’t seem to get any easier it just changes from one thing to another. Financially, trying to keep up with the demands of the age of your children can be extremely stressful . It seems the older they get the more money you have to find so your needs get put on the backburner even more so to speak.
I have wondered about this for many years and as I don’t have access to anyone’s medical records, I have one question for you. Do all single parents suffer at one time or another with depression/anxiety or both? I would really like to meet or hear from anyone who has been a single parent for over 2 years that doesn’t suffer from these overwhelming and sometimes unbearable feelings. I may be sooooo wrong stepping out with this but I can honestly say that there is not one single parent that I know that doesn’t suffer from some sort of emotional effect that presents itself much more often than they would like.
I would love to hear from men especially that are single parents and see if they would agree. Men handle their emotions so differently to women and maybe as a woman we could learn a thing or two from the way they deal with the challenges we all face. I am in no way saying its easier for a single Father than a Mother but I find, only from personal experience alone, that men very rarely show the signs of stress and emotional turmoil that us women do. I just want to know what their secret is. I would sincerely be grateful for any men’s input on this blog.
There are so many things about being a single parent that contribute to our emotional wellbeing. Let’s call them “Challenges”. They are many and varied. One thing I have found the hardest thing to deal with is the total responsibility you have in raising well mannered, considerate and caring individuals. The responsibility is really yours, and yours alone, unless you have other adults living with you or very influential friends and of course an extremely supportive family.
One thing I have learnt along the way is that you can’t pass on what you don’t know. So your own upbringing will have an extremely prevalent effect on your children whether you like it or not. I also have learnt that you can only do the best you can and hope that somehow you manage to succeed.
I have always put the children first and foremost. Something I am now learning isn’t always the best thing as you suffer physically and mentally and in turn become a parent that cannot be 100% you to your children. This is nothing new, I know, as I have heard many specialists and single parents comment on this very issue but when you are actually in it on a day to day, week to week, month to month basis, reality is very different. Working fulltime and with most weekends spent doing the housework and preparing for the next week I find it hard to make the “me” time a lot of people refer to. I find any free time I get I end up doing more housework that I wouldn’t normally get t. If not doing this I am spending time renovating the house to try and make our home as comfortable as possible for the children but of course within an extremely limited budget. My renovations may not be perfect but I figure any sort of improvement is an improvement! My time is so limited and I find that if I do take time out I suffer for it the next week. As a parent in general you would know that without any sort of organisation things can become very stressful and overwhelming very quickly.
I would love to hear from all of you with suggestions or improvements we can all make to our lives as single parents.
Without a sounding board, normally being the other parent or partner that would normally contribute to the decision making within the family, you are literally on your own with every decision you make. Not only in regard to the children, but also for yourself. It really is a huge responsibility. I take my hat off to all single parents out there as I know first- hand how hard it can be.
With the downsides also comes the good as we know, but when a lot of things happen at once the responsibility yet again becomes foremost in your mind.
Please comment with your suggestions. Just one comment can help many. I look forward to hearing from you and remember tomorrow is another day and is always so different from today. Remember you can also comment on Girl E Business on Facebook.
Love and care always
Girl E Business.
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