DIVORCE

Some of us have been through it and maybe some of us haven't.  It’s never an easy time for anyone I don't think, or I'm just yet to find that couple that has actually breezed through it.  What advice would you give to someone, based on your experience, who is about to go through a separation/divorce with small children.  Their inner strength will always get them through but seriously what sort of advice would you give to help make this transition easier for them?

 One piece of advice I would give would be to prepare even before it happens. Prepare financially, legally, emotionally, mentally and physically.  (In all honesty something I never did – but certainly learnt my lesson for not doing so)  Remember this is imperative to both men and women.

Preparation is the key and it’s a really great thing to do even if a separation/divorce never transpires.  Find out everything you need to in order to know what is available to you and how to get it or information related to it.  By delving into your current situation you are able to really come to terms with who YOU are, and also who YOU would like to be in all sorts of ways.  You may through this process find out some things about yourself that you had forgotten or even something new about yourself you never knew existed.   It's a very good way to gain self- esteem and inspiration to get you where you need to be.   Being prepared gives you the feeling that you do have control every step of the way.

I remember when I divorced many years ago I was seriously shocked to find out that I didn’t even know what music I liked anymore and I certainly didn’t know what shows I like to watch or movies I’d even be interested in.  I realised at this time just how much I had put myself on the backburner, so to speak.  Today I know all of these things and soooooo much more about myself than ever before in my life.  It has certainly been a great journey of self awareness. The good, the bad, the ugly and the absolutely, positively  undoubtedly FANTASTIC.

By my own admission, in my ignorance and for many, many years I strongly believed that  there was a very fine line between misery and loneliness and that you just have to take steps to decide which of those you would like to encounter as they  weren’t  emotionally very far apart.   Now with a lot of experience and alot of  inner reflection I have, more recently, realised the line is actually even finer  between misery and happiness.  Challenges we face, the hills we have to climb and the pathways we choose in our life always guide us to learn new lessons (Which sometimes can take awhile before we actually get it!) and always guide us towards happiness of some sort shape or form in the long run.  As the saying goes “Out of Evil good will come”. 

I really think it is important that you comment here to help others and hopefully discuss your own experience, mistakes and fortunes to enhance someone else’s experience.  We are always there for each after all.

I have noticed differences in many married couples that I graciously and proudly call my friends.  Some of them live together as a form of habit really.  Not really in love anymore but let’s just say comfortable with the norm.  Yet others who have been married for many years still emit that spark.  One thing I have noticed about these couples is that throughout their marriage they have always retained time for themselves.  These couples made the effort to always put some time aside for themselves, without the children, be it a night out for dinner, a weekend away or just a romantic night at home.  I think this is the secret.  I know if you spoke to these people they would openly say it’s hasn’t been easy but as a bystander looking in I find that that seems to be the secret to a successful marriage, the time of togetherness.

Another secret I feel is also ironically time apart.  I think to have time to miss your partner rekindles your appreciation for them. It also allows you to retain your independence and do the things you like that inspire you and you alone.  It is very invigorating to step away from being the mother, the wife or the carer and to be kind to yourself at the same time, albeit if only for a short time.  Sometimes is always better than never.

 Your comments would be extremely appreciated.  Love and care always Girl E Business.xxx :)

LIFE WITHOUT A COMPUTER

Over the past 3 weeks I have been lets say ....Computerless.  I didn't realise how frustrating this could be.  My computer had to be sent away for the fan for the hard drive to be replaced.  Little did I know that the computer company would completely erase my hard drive.  Luckily I was able to back everything up before my hard drive crashed. 

When the computer was finally returned and four hours later after re-installing everything, discussions with the computer company and being on hold with the Internet provider for over half an hour I have finally managed to get my computer back to some sort of normality.

I still have problems with IMAP folders if anyone is familiar with these, but generally all is OK it seems.

Its amazing how much you rely on your computer and what you can actually get done when you don't have it.  Although computers are supposed to be the ultimate tool in organisation, ironically I am more personally organised than I have been in a long time.  My house now looks clean and organised.  All that excess time has meant spring cleans, clean outs, and finding things of course I had forgotten I had.  I love that bit !

I know I couldn't live without my computer but it has certainly been a learning curve as to how much time we actually spend on here and I am now not so convinced it is such a good thing. OH with exception of the Girl E Business Blog Site. LOL  What do you think?

Queensland Floods - AUSTRALIA

Words are just so hard to find………….This week would have to be the most devastating and incredibly shocking week in many of our lives.

To the people who have lost loved ones our hearts go out to you. To all the sisters who lost her brothers, the families that lost their rock (their fathers), to the little boy who asked rescuers to save his little brother first before loosing his own life and his mother’s to the floods. To the Wives that has now been widowed, and to the Husbands  also, we might not physically be standing by your side right now but we are certainly with you in spirit.

We can’t explain why and could never pretend to understand or even contemplate how you would be feeling right now, nor would we ever try to.  We would just like to ensure you that we are sending so much love and support to you in the hope that you may just find the slightest bit of solace in all of this devastation.

Nothing will ever be the same but we can certainly make sure in some ways that it is better than before.  We need to ensure that not one person’s life was lost in vane and whilst they may no longer be with us they would certainly be proud of what we are about to achieve.

To the organisations, people and businesses who have contributed to the Flood fundraising, Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! from everyone affected by this tremendous terrible disaster. 

On a personal level we are QUEENSLANDERS.  Nothing can ever bring us down. We will not only rise to the challenge we will blitz it ! For every life that was lost our courage and determination will increase tenfold. 

GO QUEENSLAND !!!!!!

I am aware that  there is no really no need to even ask, as you know the spirit that is within you, but please help where and when you can.  As the saying goes “Time is Money” but at this stage “Time” will be far more valuable to any one in need I’m sure.

We may have lost family, friends, valuables, our homes, food etc but this cannot stop us.  We can do this! 

Love and care always

Girl E Business

HAPPY NEW YEAR – New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions – Do they actually work?  Personally I know many people set goals/resolutions for the new year and time and time again they fail. 

I think setting yourself a New Year’s resolution/goal at this time of year is only adding to the stress and pressure the some of you may have already experienced with Christmas.

I try to set goals throughout the year, and this year in particular I will do my best to reach those goals but over the whole year not in one week from the 1^st January.

How do you set out to achieve your goals?  How many do you actually fulfil?  I know a lot of people who set a goal, reach it and then create another goal for themselves.  This is a clever way as to not put too much pressure on yourself and it also enables you to work on one thing at a time. 

Do you base your life on goals and achieving them or do you literally take each day as it comes?  I would love to hear everyone’s opinion on this as I am sure they would be vastly varied.  What sort of goal have you set for yourself for 2011?  Do you make a list or just keep them to yourselves? Without setting goals for ourselves how do we increase our knowledge or improve on ourselves at all?

Many of my goals for 2011 are more wishes than goals I think.  I have a lot of hopes for my family and friends which I think is just as important as setting goals for yourself. 

I want to wish you all the very best for 2011, with or without goals or resolutions.  I would sincerely love to hear from any of you in regards to your views on this.

Together we can make anything happen, Don’t you think?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !

Regardless of your goals and acheivements 2011 Is going to be the best year ever !!!

Love and care always…….. Girl E Business.

ONE MORE THING FOR 2010

Yes just one more thing! LOL I just wanted to thank everyone who joined Girl E Business and those that have read the blog here on the page this year. I am so grateful for the support and promise to bring some fantastic surprises in 2011. Each and every one of you deserve the most fantastic Christmas ever !!! Love and care ALWAYS..... Girl E Business

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Just in case I don't get here before the big day, I would like to take the opportunity to wish you and your families the most wonderful Christmas ever ! 

A special thank you to all the Girlies that have inspired me this year.  Love to you all and with the knowing that I will always be inspired bring on 2011!!!

Merry Christmas everyone !

Love and care always



Girl E Business

OPRAH IN AUSTRALIA & THE ACT OF GIVING..........

Hi to all the Girlies !!

Well I guess it’s better late than never to say goodbye to Oprah.  Whether you love her or not there is no way anyone who watched her over the past weeks could ever doubt her generosity or addictive, inspiring nature.

Christmas is, as we all know, a time of giving and one thing Oprah is, is the ultimate “GIVER”.  I also noticed she also suffers the Giver’s Disease, which is basically an uncomfortable reluctance to receive. “I don’t like surprises” she said in one interview.  The truth being not many real givers do.  They are much more comfortable in the giving mode rather than the receiving mode.  You see this regularly when surrounded by giving people.  I thought it was so apt for her to be here at this time of year and I loved the fact that they named the Opera house the “Oprah House” for a week. I do tend to love a play on words.

Strip her of the fortune and fame and I still believe that Oprah would be exactly the same.  Maybe the gifts wouldn’t be as exceptional but I have no doubt that she would still be giving. There aren’t too many wealthy people who you can truly say that about.  Her fortune, which I believe is truly deserved, just enables her to help and support others more. 

I didn’t get the chance to see all of the coverage on her visit, but what I did see inspired me no end anyway.  Anything truly is possible and you just need to be open to that very thing whilst pursuing that dream you have held for most of your life.  I think everyone of us has a dream that we have held for a very long time.  It has mostly been hidden under the blanket of  the responsibility of parenthood, financial commitments, family commitments and most times our low self- esteem.    Nothing creates more happiness in the world that doing what you love, yet most of us just don’t. 

We tend to make excuses all the time, like the lack of funds due to financial commitments or the ultimate excuse of all excuses “I’m too busy”. The fear of being thrown into a place we are not familiar with and sometimes the risk of our financial security, enables the excuses.  My ultimate goal for 2011 is to push myself to believe more in this very thing.  I am the first to put my hand up and say I constantly struggle with the fear of the unknown.  One thing that prevents me from moving forward has always been the 2 other little people lives I am playing with.  If it was just me and my decisions were only going to affect me then I think things would be very different.  The fact that I am responsible for the lives of the two others constantly enables excuses that have previously stopped me from moving forward.  2010 has been a great start, but I know and believe that 2011 will be so much more. So please stay with me as I jump of the cliff into the unknown so we can see what happens.  There I have done it. Now I have acknowledged that I can no longer linger in the fear of what might not be and move forward with my dream of what could be.  After all, I can now take comfort in the fact that I have the support of all the Girlies.

A friend of mine recently pointed out when we were discussing this topic that NO LIABILITY = NO PROFIT.  From a business perspective I can understand that but, I didn’t realise how much that really applies to life in general.  The Liabilities being our hardships, challenges, health problems etc.  The profits being what we learn from our experiences and how we utilise  that which we have learnt, love, happiness, and the assurance in knowing we are following our life’s purpose.  Once big piece of profit I appreciate is the ability to be able to acknowledge just how truly grateful we are for the good in our lives.  Sometimes when things are tough and life is hard, it becomes very difficult to still focus on all the good.  The good is always there though and always will be.  You just have to be remind yourself sometimes

 I think if most of us could feel what it would be like to be doing what we loved, then we truly wouldn’t hesitate.  We would drop everything and go full steam ahead if we were actually assured we would be the happiest we’ve ever been, have financial security, be supported in abundance and be overwhelmingly proud and inspired by what we do.  I gain so much inspiration from the women and men who have literally followed their dream not matter what with the knowing they are doing what they love.

It has got me thinking that whilst I do try to give as much as possible, I still think this year I have missed something or there is something I still have to do.  I seriously wonder sometimes what this world would be like if even for just for one day only; every single human on the planet would do something for someone else.  I wonder if that was possible what the world would be like the very next day?  One of my ultimate dreams and yes I know, a big one, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering “What if?”

Givers come in all shapes and sizes and I am so appreciative of them as I am sure all the receivers are.  There is the lady who sacrifices every one of her Saturdays to visit the old people’s home and just be there to talk to the elderly.  There is the generous guy who forgoes 4 nights of his time to stand on the corner of the street be it rain, hail or shine to ensure that the homeless have a meal for the night.  There is the little child who shares their lunch with the child next to them because that day their parents didn’t supply any.  Givers stem from all generations and this can start from very early on.  I noticed recently an 18 month old picking up and handing one of her friends her toys to play with.  This simple gesture was enough for me to know that we can never say we didn’t know how to offer help or support to others, because it is something that is inbuilt in us from the very beginning.

Have you given to anyone recently?  What have you done this year to help others?  On a personal note I think I could have done a lot more but still I have a few little things up my sleeve.  I would love to hear your stories of what you did but also how you felt because of it.

As it is said “Pay it forward”.  It’s quite simple if you are fortunate to receive help or support in any way, just continue it and do for someone else. I can guarantee the feeling of giving will always far outweigh many of the feelings of receiving you have experienced.

Girlies, I say go forth and GIVE LOL  J

Love and care always,

Girl E Business.